Rambling Yogi

Category: healing

  • The grief journey

    The grief journey

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    As I made the long trip up the coast to Merimbula I was struck by how my journey on this road trip reminded me of my journey through grief. When I set off I did what I usually do and quickly looked over the map of where I was going, it all looked pretty straight forward, I took note of the main towns I’d be passing through and then I set off on my way.

    As I got about two hours into my trip I realised that I was in a town that I wasn’t supposed to be. I pulled over and took another look at the map and sure enough I was in the wrong place.  On the map it had looked like a straight route but in reality what looked like the continuation of a road was actually a turn off. By missing my turn off I accidently ended up in a town that my dad used to call on for work so I decided to make the most of my mistake and stop and get food where I knew he used to go. From there I restudied the map and realised that I could keep going on the current road and would link back up with the road I was supposed be on.

    Missing that first turn had simply taken me on a surprisingly nice detour but now I was back on track and I knew that there was one more major turn off that I didn’t want to miss before stopping for lunch. After another forty five minutes of driving I started to wonder if maybe had missed the next turn off and then I see a sign and yup I’m in another town that I’m not supposed to be in. This time I was seriously not impressed with myself. My first response was WTF Clare are you kidding. How did you miss this one and with that I finally turned on my sat nav. Yeah that’s right I had one the whole time, I figured I’d be right driving streets I’d never driver before because I usually can just glance at maps and know where I’m going.

    What has this story got to do with grief? Well first I want to quickly discuss the stages of grief. I’d always figured that there was a stage of  denial but I hadn’t ever really through about the rest until an amazing friend suggested I read Grief on Grieving: Finding the meaning of grief through the five stages of loss. I highly recommend this book to anyone  who is feeling lost in their grief or wants to better understand a friend who is grieving. The five stages that this amazing book talks about are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The book explains that there is no prescribed order for experiencing the stages and that not everyone will experience them all. For me being introduced to these stages really normalised where my head was taking me and I began to think of the stages as places I visit. 

    So coming back to my road trip this is how I began to see it. The journey is life and the towns that I didn’t mean to end up in are the stages of grief, quite often you don’t realise that you’re heading for a particular stage it simply blindsides you like missing a turn. You don’t really know how you came to be in a particular place you just find yourself there. Sometimes you find yourself in a stage of grief and it actually sits well with you, it’s what you know you need or at least your ok with it, like my first unplanned town but other times it’s a really unwelcome stage it doesn’t sit well with you and you can get really upset that you find yourself there.

    When you find yourself in these different stages of grief there are different ways to be respond just like getting lost. You can pull a u-turn straight away and head back the way you came refusing to pass through this new town, you can pull over and become overwhelmed with this new place and perhaps needing to stay the night, or maybe you get out your map and realise that if you keep driving down the road you can pass through this town and get back to the main journey.

    There’s absolutely no right or wrong way to manage getting lost; if you need to turn around then turn around, if you need to stay and sit in a particular place go for it, if you want to slowly move through you should and if you revisit a particular place over and over again that’s fine. Your journey doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s, it should only ever be what you need it to be but know that you can always turn on your sat nav for guidance. Professional help can make unfamiliar roads a lot less daunting.

    To all those that have lost people dear to them I send you love and blessings for a brighter tomorrow.

    xx

  • Self Love Letter

    Self Love Letter

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    How would you define love?

    Does that definition apply to the way you feel about yourself?

    Last night in the yoga class I taught I read When I began to love myself by Charlie Chaplin in savasana. If you’ve never read it before do yourself a favour and click on the link. As I read through the lines, I was reminded of just how powerful self love is. I truly believe that it can change the lenses that you see life through. With that in mind I wanted to write myself a love letter to remind myself just how wonderful I am in my own eyes. It’s pretty nerve racking and kind of uncomfortable to praise yourself in a big way but I’ve committed myself to no half baked love letters so here goes nothing.

    To my darling beautiful Clare,

    I want you to know how insanely proud of you I am. I have seen you grow and flourish so much over the past few years. What I admire about you most is your ability to forgive yourself with kindness for the mistakes and blunders of the past and from that place of kindness you have been able to take in and learn so vey much.

    It hasn’t always been easy and I know that you have faced some very dark times but watching you emerge from each period of darkness has been specular. The light and ease with which you move through life is testament to the battles you have fought and the darkness you have known.

    I often marvel at the way you dream so big. You’ve never been one to timidly step through life, you’ve always bounded in to ideas with a full open heart. I love your ability to see everything as an adventure. That sense of adventure had allowed you to do so many big things in your life without ever thinking twice; trekking mountains, volunteering in foreign countries, running marathons, jumping out of planes, floating in hot air balloons and completely changing your career in your late 20’s. You are an inspiration and your love of life in infectious.

    I know that sometimes you don’t see the beauty in your face, the kindness in your eyes, the magic in your smile or the brilliance of your body but please know that you are more wonderful than you could ever imagine.

    While there’s still so much to be learnt in your amazing journey know that where you are right here and now is phenomenal. You have come such a long way and made so many brave constructive changes in your life so again please know just how proud you I am.

    Keep smiling, keep laughing, keep lighting up the world with your beautiful soul.

    I love you forever and always.

    Clare

    xx

  • 30 Days of Kindness

    30 Days of Kindness

    Last night I went to an amazing workshop on authenticity run by the simply brilliant Emeli Paulo from Collective Potential. If you’ve never heard of Collective Potential do yourself a favour and check them out. At the start of the workshop we were asked to turn to a stranger and tell them what brought us to the workshop. For me I had started to feel like the authenticity that I had once lived my life with was beginning to fade and I wanted to turn that around.

    I have to admit I was kind of expecting to be lectured about what authenticity is and given steps to living an authentic life. I was so glad that it was nothing like that. It was super interactive and required everyone to talk about their truth; to share their values, their fears, their dreams, their story. It was simply stunning to see how contagious bravery can be. One person gets up and says or does something inspiring and next thing you know some on the other side of the room has something to contribute too.

    The most magical part of the night for me came near the end when I found my truth in someone else’s story. A lady was sharing with the group that she felt like she needed to let go of grief for the loss of her mother. As she spoke I realised how much I had not let myself grieve for the loss of my father. It had been a month since I’d lost my father unexpectedly and I could count on one hand the amount of times I’ve let myself really cry. For decades to me strong has meant putting on a brave face and getting on with things. It has only been in the last year or so that I’ve begun to see the strength in vulnerability. Not giving myself the time and space to sit with my pain and feel what I need to feel was a big part of why I felt like I wasn’t living a very authentic life.

    An idea that really resonated with me about authenticity is that it is about being real not perfect. So how do I get myself to be more real…I knew the answer before I even asked the question. I knew I needed to be kinder to myself, I knew needed to stop expecting so much from myself and I knew I needed to nurture the most important relationship I have, the one I have with myself.

    At the end of the workshop we were asked to set ourselves a challenge for the next 30 days. It was to be something that we could do each day that would allow us to become more authentic.  Straight away I knew that I wanted to set myself a 30 day kindness challenge. To each day do one kind thing for myself.

    I’m starting today by putting an affirmation on the mirror that I stand in front of each day when I brush my teeth.

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    You can follow my 30 days of kindness on my instagram @ckve and use the hash tag #30daysofkindness to share your own little bits of kindness that you give yourself. At the end of my 30 days I’ll post a list of the things that I do for myself.

    Love and Blessings

    xx

  • Bone Broth Magic

    Bone Broth Magic

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    Bone broth is my go to drink whenever I feel like a need a warm hug from my food and a little extra nourishment. It’s a delicious nutrient dense drink that’s also easy to make. Before I run you through just how easy it is to make your own brew of goodness here’s a few of the benefits of this amazing prehistoric drink.

    • Helps promote good gut health. Lets talk about your gut for a second, because gut health is something that I’m super passionate about. The lining of your intestine is selectively permeable to allow nutrients to pass through and be absorbed into the body. This lining can become too permeable due to lifestyle factors such as consumption of highly processed foods, stress, some medications and pesticides ingested from fruit and veg. When the lining becomes too permeable undigested food particles can pass through the gut lining and directly into the bloodstream. This situation really puts a lot of unnecessary stress on the body, just think of your poor liver having to deal with all this foreign matter. The glutamine in bone broth can help repair a hyperpermeable intestinal wall.
    • Reduces joint pain and inflammation. Bone broth is loaded with glycosaminoglycans (GAGs). These GAGs include glucosamine, chondroitin and hyaluronic acid. They have the ability to stimulate the growth of new collagen aiding in the repair of damaged joints and leading to a possible reduction in pain and inflammation. Bone broth is very high in the anti-inflammatory amino acids glycine and proline
    • Give your hair, skin and nails some loving from the inside. The collagen and gelatin in bone broth helps build healthy hair, skin and nails.
    • Magic minerals a plenty. The minerals in bone broths include calcium, iron, magnesium, potassium, zinc and selenium. They are critical for many bodily functions and impact everything from our bones to our mood and our joint health.

    As the name suggests bone broth is made from bones. I trend to always use chicken, but you can certainly change that up. Try and find an organic chook who’s had a happy life. I’m not much of a recipe follower myself but below are some guidelines on what you might like to put into your broth.

    All you really need to know is that you are combining bones with some meat still attached, vegetables spices and herbs to add flavour, apple cider vinegar (helps to leach more minerals out of the bones) and enough water to cover your bones and some then simmer for 24 and 48 hours easy peasy.

    If you’ve like a bit more elaboration around vegies, spices and herbs I tend to use the following:

    • Celery
    • Carrots
    • Onions
    • Bay Leaves
    • Rosemary
    • Thyme
    • Whole Peppercorns

    But you can really just go with whatever your heart desires.

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    Happy Brewing!

  • Yoga Teacher Training – week 1 Ahimsa – Nonviolence

    Yoga Teacher Training – week 1 Ahimsa – Nonviolence

    If I were to ask you how often you behaved violently what would be your answer?

    Violence is often associated with psychically hurting another person but what if I expanded the definition of violence to be behaving in a way that is not kind to others or yourself.

    Once you start exploring the ways that you are unkind you can start to become aware of your own personal patterns you can begin to treat yourself and others with more kindness and compassion.

    Here are some if the ways that we practice violence.

    Negative self talk – How often are you your biggest critic? Do you beat yourself up about mistakes or tell yourself you’re not good enough in same way? Our inner monolog can really set the tone for how we experience our lives. Be careful with how you talk to yourself. Stop and ask yourself am I coming from a place of kindness?

    Unkind words to others or about others – Do your words hurt others? Either directly (to their face) or indirectly (gossip) Always stop to consider what your intentions are before you speak. Your words should be kind and honest even when they are strong and direct.

    Your relationship with food – Do you stop to consider how the food you put in your body is nourishing you? It’s violence towards yourself to continually over indulge or starve yourself. Love yourself enough to really care about what you eat.

    Expecting too much from yourself – We like to set goals and challenges for ourselves which is great, it keeps us moving forward but when we only focus on the steps necessary to achieve the goal and stop being open and present to the journey we not only don’t get to experience the beauty of the journey but we may push beyond our tipping point. Pushing yourself without stopping to listen to your body is what causes sickness and injury. It’s our body’s way of forcing us to slow down.  Be mindful of the effect working too hard in the gym or the office has on your body.

    Lack of balance  –  When you over commit yourself and don’t allow enough time to recharge you may burnout or become short with others.  Balance is going to be different for everyone and so you will need to tune in and ask yourself what do I need to create balance in my life…maybe it’s having healthy meals,  spending in nature, getting “me” time, getting enough sleep, finding time for meditation,  having social media free days, getting a massage, making time for exercise or even clearing out the clutter in your life it’s important to know what you need and make time for it.

    We’re never going to be able to be completely nonviolent in all of our words and actions all of the time but we can be more conscious of our personal patterns and make small positive changes in our lives for the benefit of all.

    Namaste
    Xxxx

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    My soul honors your soul. I honor the place in you where the entire universe resides. I honor the light, love, truth, beauty & peace within you, because it is also within me. In sharing these things we are united, we are the same, we are one.